Steve's Blog

I'm Back

2009-10-23T11:10:00.002+13:00

Wow, I haven't blogged in more than two years. Well i'm procrastinating so here goes. What has happened since my last post? Well I have trained as a travel agent, worked as a travel agent and then resigned from being a travel agent after one year. I have met a beautiful women, dated a beautiful woman and broken up with a beautiful woman (all the same woman).

Now I'm almost finished a year at Laidlaw College (formerly Bible College New Zealand) in Ministry Internship. So i was studying and working at my church, Papanui Baptist as assistant youth pastor.

The year of study/work has been great very challenging it is great how they blow all of your theology in 3 hours and then you spend the rest of your life trying to rebuild a different theology. The theologians that I have loved this year are N.T. Wright, Tite Tienou, Charles Olsen, Brian Mclaren, Shane Clairbourne, Mark Strom, Jim Wallis, Rob Bell and Tony Compolo. So where has my year of study left my theology? I have realized why the traditional evangelical view of salvation never really got me excited - it is flawed.

By traditional evangelical view I mean the basic formula that goes like this:

Garden of Eden = Perfect relationship with God

Fall = Separation from God

Jesus = Restoration of relationship with God and eternal dwelling with God in "heaven."

This is basically right but also does not include some vital elements.

The fall was the destruction not only of our relationship with God, but also our relationship with each other and our relationship with the environment. Sin affected all of these - if we redefine the problem in this way we also redefine the required solution - Christ's life, death and resurrection and return is the restoration of all things and all relationships not only our relationship with God.

Part of the problem with the traditional Evangelical view is that it assumes that the point of salvation is the escape from this world into eternity in some other spiritual world. This view is wound up in neo-Platinist dualism - ie the world is made up of spiritual (good) and physical (bad) and ultimately our destiny is to escape the physical and find the spiritual. I have found this is also flawed. This does not seem to fit with the language in the Scriptures that talks of Heaven coming to Earth (Rev 21). My belief is that Christ's return will consummate the Kingdom of God on earth. Our ultimate, eternal destiny is not to float around a spiritual realm with God but to dwell on a transformed "new" (or "renewed) Earth where Heaven and Earth are one and the same. All the relationships have been restored the way they where intended from the start.

I don't know if anyone is still following this blog but anyway here it is.

Over and out

2007-05-21T21:11:00.001+12:00

Hey I don't know if you guys still read this but i'm moving to the greener (but emo infested) pastures of Bebo so check me out if you want to:

Stephen Thorne http://swthorne5.bebo.com/

P.S Won't be using this blog anymore

YouTube

2006-10-21T20:15:00.000+13:00

I have discovered the joys of "youtube".
It is prety simple people just upload videos and then you can watch them.
Here is my pick of videos

Jumping Russians

Nike adds

Football freestyle
Basketball freestyle
Football beats

Weird Al "white and nerdy"

Two Chinese guys

Hope you enjoy them as much as i did

Im back

2006-10-12T16:42:00.000+13:00

Im back in the country after my adventure in Africa, you can check the blog in the previuos post. It would be cool to catch up with the people i have not already seen, there are like 6 months of news that i need to catch up on it. Now im working at Alpha (my Mum and Dad's language school) in the mornings and not much else for a few weeks. In November i will be doing full time at Alpha. Here are some pictures of Africa

The photo on the right is of all the students except for me. From left to right Fanta, Florence, Kahlia (Australia) Felix, Marthe, Serge, David, Bernard, Paul (staff) and Daniel on the guitar. All of them are from Cameroon excpet Kahlia.

This is the living quarters 6 guys in here! My bed on the top right.

This is the classroom in the base.

This is what Douala looks like in the dry season. In the wet season just convert the dirt into mud.

There will be more photos later

Steve's African Adventure

2006-03-06T23:45:00.000+13:00

I have created a new blog specifically for updates on my DTS in Cameroon. You will be able to find news, prayer requests and also photos. You can check it out here.

Ferrit

2006-03-01T23:42:00.000+13:00

Here is a disturbing but real conversation I just had with Matt on Msn

Spelling mistakes included (me= Matt Eh Steve=me) :)

Me: hi steve, you don't have an ad at the bottom of your window for ferrets and beards do you?
Eh Steve: why do you need a feret with a beard?
Me: i suppose i could be persuaded that i need one
Eh Steve: we have quite a range....
Eh Steve: its an add for ferrit dot com
Me: i'd click on it but... they might use my IP address and steal my soul
Eh Steve: yeah but you could get a ferret....Soul for a ferret....hmmmm
Me: ...and it does come with a beard...
Eh Steve: depends what state your soul is in
Me: and how it is relatively proportionate to the ferrets beard
Me: i think my soul would be equivalent to a rather thin beard on a disproportionately hairy ferret
Eh Steve: thats a bit harsh
Me: if it was course and wirey as well
Eh Steve: maybe....
Eh Steve: the ferrit comes on the beard
Eh Steve: in which case...
Eh Steve: i want one
Eh Steve: or as the beard
Me: a disproportionately hairy ferret would be kind of cool
Me: and may come in quite handy in the most unlikely of situations
Eh Steve: And what situations are those?
Me: i think it would be quite unlikely that i could imagine one
Me:...which makes it all the more important, if you want to be prepared for anything
Eh Steve: well you could strap stuff too its back and use it as a carrier ferret
Eh Steve: or you could train it to fetch things and it could be a "gun ferret" and you could take it hunting
Eh Steve: OR you could use it as a "guide ferret"
Eh Steve: Or as a "sniffer feret" at the airport
Me: or you could stick it on the end of a stick and use it to clean the chimney
Eh Steve: the oppurtunities for a well trained ferret are endless
Me: it could be an imitation hairy ferret
Eh Steve: the fact that it is very hairy is also useful as a chimney sweep
Me: you could floss all your teeth at once
Eh Steve: or if you were a megolomanical tyrannt you could strap laser pointers to its nose
Eh Steve: or you could use as one of those scrubbing brushes in the shower
Eh Steve: or a draft stopper thingy
Me: in the hands of the wrong people, it could be extremely dangerous
Eh Steve: maybe YOU shouldnt buy one Matt i think you are "the wrong people"
Me: it could be used as a phycological weapon
Eh Steve: like a means of torture?
Me: or even a psycological weapon
Eh Steve: if it had a flexible backbone you could use it as a pipe cleaner
Me: maybe even a psychological weapon
Eh Steve: if you had a pipe
Eh Steve: you could disguise it as a greyhound....
Eh Steve: and teach it to run really fast...or at least eat greyhounds......and you would be rich
Me: you could tape a bunch of them to a rotating cylinder for use in a car wash
Eh Steve: or put it on a pole (maybe even the same pole for the chimney) and wash your upstairs windows
Me: ceiling insulation
Eh Steve: attached to a desk fan it could be a car polisher
Me: they could be breed for a third world microenterprize scheme
Eh Steve: Like instead of buying a sweedish piggery you could buy a sweedish Ferretery
Me: you could establish ferretory territories
Eh Steve: cool
Eh Steve: Maybe we should get into the small rodent business
Me: with a sfety pin you could have a fashionable tongue piercing
Eh Steve: we could breed ferets, hamsters
Eh Steve: or a belly button ring all though it would look like lint
Eh Steve: a toupee
Me: a disguise kit
Me: to make you as inconspicuous as possible
Eh Steve: a pair of slippers (you would obviusly need two)
Eh Steve: so you can blend it with all the other people wearing ferrets?
Me: it would depend upon the success of our marketing campaign
Eh Steve: you could train an evil army of the night
Eh Steve: what is our target audience?
Eh Steve: we could get someone who has done commerce stuff like Andre
Me: and someone like Nathan who has done psychology...for the psychological warfare division
Me: I believe we should target suckers
Eh Steve: and people who don't know what ferrets are
Eh Steve: and megolomanical people with dirty chimneys, bad teeth, big cars and no hair!
Eh Steve: that is a pretty small target audience
Me: well you obviously aren't from around here
Eh Steve: if that who lives around here im kinda gald
Me: they're everywhere... i have to put special filters on my windows
Me: well, i'm off to establish my own chain of "Discount Hairy Ferret Warehouses"

No i didn't transcribe it, you can save MSN conversations.

40 Hour famine

2006-02-22T13:42:00.000+13:00

Hey everyone I’m doing the 40 hour Famine soon. World Vision have got real flash this year. They have online famine books so you can sponsor me online just follow the link. http://www.famine.org.nz/Eh_Steve.

Cameroon

2006-02-14T07:51:00.000+13:00

My application finally arrived in Cameroon.
But there are not enough applicants at the Bamenda DTS so they are canceling the DTS.
They are going to pass my application on to the Douala base, their DTS starts in April. So some of the pressure is off. I spent several hundred dollars on immunization and now I can get the rabies shot, which I couldn’t get cause you need to take 3 shots over a month period.
I was just going to try to avoid dogs, monkeys, soccer hooligans and Muslim terrorists but now I can be immunized. Man the immunizations don’t came cheap by the way:

Yesterday I got:

Hepatitis A and B (one shot)
Typhoid
Polio
$200 for the three (and doctors fee).
Malaria tablets -$200-

I need to get:

Another Hepatitis A and B
Tetanus
Meninigacocil (or how ever you spell that word)
Yellow Fever
Rabies
In other news I have jury duty this week.

What's going on?

2006-02-03T08:54:00.000+13:00

What’s going on with me? Well I’m back teaching but only part-time in the afternoons and only for another week. I’m waiting to hear back from the DTS regarding my application.

My referees sent their parts about a month ago and they haven’t arrived in Cameroon yet. I sent my part about two weeks ago which also obviously hasn’t arrived, and a computer copy - which they have received. So I’m going in 31 days if I get accepted.

WOW freaky, still got stuff to do. Sitting on the scanner beside me is a copy of a form for a Visa in Kenya where I will be staying for a few days. I need injections as well and insurance kind of important stuff like that. I’m still short on money so in the next two weeks if any body has got jobs I can do that would be cool.

My 50 cents worth.

2006-01-30T11:20:00.000+13:00

Two of my cousins have been staying with us for a while on the way to Wellington. One of them can’t stop talking about 50 Cent. I’m not really a fan and it’s starting to get annoying.
He asked if I wanted to go to watch the movie and I politely turned him down.
I don’t mind rap music some rappers are incredibly talented. What I don’t like is the “gangsta” culture the goes with it – the soft porn music videos, the lyrics about getting love drunk on lady humps (Black Eyed Peas) or the album art of musicians going on killing sprees (Eminem).

It’s not just the music look at the game Grand Theft Auto not only are you encouraged to steal cars but also to shoot prostitutes. They get away with it because they suggest you don’t have to shoot the prostitutes and steal the cars to win the game. But they do give you points for doing it thus they encourage it.

The thing is that they (rappers) are using their talents to sell the “gangsta” culture not sell their music.
What I mean by this is that 50 cent has not only put out music CD’s but also a computer game, a movie and a clothing label. I’m waiting for the lunch boxes and school bags. When you look at it there aren’t many differences between 50’s merchandising campaign and Sponge Bob’s.

But isn’t the rock music I listen to also selling the “rock ‘n’ roll” culture? Yes of course it is. But I’m not buying the culture I’m buying the music.

But then isn’t my cousin buying the music as well? Not the way I see it.

When you start idolising the musician and looking up to them as somebody to aspire to this is different from appreciating their music.

I don’t attempt to emulate the musicians I listen to – except the occasional air guitar session. I would like to sing like Thome Yorke or play the guitar like Jimi Hendrix but I don’t want to be like Thome or Jimi.
I’m quite happy being myself, I don’t want to be drug addict like Jimi or clinically depressed like Thome.

My cousin on the other hand doesn’t want to just be a rapper like 50 but wants to be a “gangsta” like 50 who was a former drug-dealer and convicted felon. That is not something I think people should aspire to at all.

You be the judge

2006-01-25T10:58:00.000+13:00

This is pretty random you upload a photo of you and they check their database of famous people to see who you look like.

This was the photo:

And the result
I look like this famous French actor:
Gerard Dipardieu

Second match was THIS guy (Deigo Maradona)

Third match was the Babe himself

Babe Ruth:

You be the judge.

The Good

2006-01-20T11:36:00.000+13:00

I have another game of cricket this Saturday. I like cricket, cricket is the good. It is even more fun when you are playing “social” cricket. It was quite funny, last week the players in the other team were actually “drinking” in the drinks break (like alcohol). Can you imagine that in a game of rugby “Half-time is Pint-time.” In “social” cricket the batting team provides umpires, it is quite funny watching the umpires having a sneaky drag on their smokes. Then in between the innings the players have some pies to help with their fielding!! Our team is a Church team so there are no sneaky pints, or sneaky drags or even sneaky pies not that pies are bad. Pies are the good.
On Tuesday I had a game of indoor football. Football is the good. I was goalie AGAIN I always end up in goal. No one else is dumb enough to stand in front of a target. It sounds pretty dumb when you put it like that, can you imagine a “goalie” in darts, standing in front of the target and preventing the other person from scoring – that sounds like fun anyone for darts?
Then on the way home from football I saw some guys playing basketball, so I stopped and joined in! Then after a couple of games I started driving home and went past another basketball court with another group of guys playing. I can’t help myself. Its great fun, dropping in on random games of basketball. Basketball is the good.

Stuff that has happened

2006-01-15T12:42:00.000+13:00

Well It has been a while since I posted. Quite a lot of stuff has happened, my family went to Goose Bay between Christmas and New Years that was cool. I like having a tent ten meters from State Highway One and 8 from the Main-trunk line!!
Then I came back hung out and did a kids camp. Which was real funny cause I knew half the leaders just cause we are Christians around the same age. There was Lani (friend of J-Rods and future flat-mate to Shell) Rachel (current flat-mate of Mike) Amanda (friend from youth work stuff who I haven’t seen in about 3 years) and Marty (husband of a woman who use to work for mum). Crazy huh. Camp was awesome though lots of fun and a chance to talk to kids about the gospel. I mean what is better than that? Oh and I munted myself too. We were swimming at Woodend Beach and I got caught in a wave and ceremonially dropped on my head. I got a big lump referred to by the campers as my “alien”. All the kids wanted to poke it lol. After camp I came home and played indoor football on Tuesday and got like four injuries (hip, nose, head, leg).
I also had a look at airfares to Cameroon, I’m probably leaving on the 6th March and going to Yaounde (capitol of Cameroon) via Bangkok and Nairobi on Thai and Kenya Air. I may spend a few days in Nairobi with friends from our Church who will be over there. I still have to get a visa and some injections and by some I mean almost every injection known to man. I had a game of cricket yesterday it was cool after not having played since MG 1st XI days. But I got roped in fairly late and didn’t get time to go home and get ready. So I played cricket with no sunscreen, hat, or sunglasses normally essential attire for a gem of cricket and now I’m paying for it with lobster like sun-burn.

My Personality

2005-12-23T23:28:00.000+13:00

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary
You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.
You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer
You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.
You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's" Your Personality Type?

I'm a worrier

2005-12-19T15:10:00.000+13:00

I’m a worrier, I don’t worry about everything but the things I do worry about I worry about more than normal to account for the things I don’t worry about. One of the things I worry about (just ask my mum) is the future.
What will I do now that I have a BA? Do I want to be a teacher? Where is Cameroon and why do I want to go there? Will I get Visas in time? How much will the injections cost?
Sometimes I worry so much it keeps me up at night I have to go for a walk to “let off some steam.”
I have been walking a lot between the hours of 10pm and 2am this year.
It has not been the easiest year for me, with constant stress with full-time work and my body getting use to that time of day fondly known as “the morning.”
But God has helped me through this year, well God, mum, work colleagues, my cell group and Ed (my pastor).
I feel like I have got to the end of the tunnel and I’m excited (and a little worried) about stepping into the light.

One of the things that hit me this year was looking at my spiritual journals from when I was a 17-18 year old.
I had such a strong faith I was hopeful and excited about the future I believed that God was there with me everyday helping me through. I had goals and dreams.
I use the past tense because that faith has gone, not totally but it has diminished anyway. I’m not sure what has happened to me since I left school I guess it is what we call reality. But I’m cynical, at times hopeless, goalless and passionless. This is probably why I need to do DTS to find that passion, that hope in God the goals that God has given me.
I’m still worried about what the future has in store for me but now I’m trying to focus on the journey that God has got me on, one blessing at a time.

A tale of two videos

2005-12-19T14:58:00.000+13:00

I have seen two videos recently one made me cry the other made me cringe.
The first video made me cry because it ignited the passion I have for seeing the Church fulfil it’s purpose which is praising God. The video was about the Global Day of Prayer.
The Global Day of Prayer started as a South African thing in one or two stadiums and then it spread to the rest of Africa. Last year they had people from all over the world praying on the same day. When I watched it I couldn’t help thinking this is what we are made for.
The other video was a promo for Greg Laurie. It made me cringe because the focus of the video seemed to me to be on how God made me feel.
It goes something like this let's for arguement sake call it the pente cycle:

I’m feeling stink.
I go to a gathering of Christians.
I get a warm fuzzy.
I go home.
Two days later I’m feeling stink again.
The speaker has left town.
I don’t know how to get the warm fuzzy again.

These two videos show a different perspective on Church.
In the first video the people are coming together to give something to God, the glory and honour due to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
In the second video the people are coming together to get some thing from God (a pente experience).
The first video shows what Church is supposed to be like. The second video show what it too often is like.
Church is totally not about us (contrary to most the songs we sing) it’s about praising our Father. To often my Church (including me) have had the second view particularly in the youth group.
Looking back at my time spent as a youth leader I feel that we were baby sitting the young people between these experiences they were having at outside events Easter Camp, Harvest etc. The young people weren’t growing. We were focusing on the wrong thing, what we needed to focus on was discipleship equipping these young people for the world as a Christian, the ups and the downs and the battles. The experience you get from these events (which may be God) is fantastic but more important is the question; In two years time will these people be better equipped to face the battles?
At the end of the Laurie video they had a stat thing on the screen:

Number attending the events: 20,000
Number of “commitments”: 2,000

They needed another few stats:

Number understanding their “commitment”: 200
Number following through their "commitment": 20
Number discipled to help others to make "commitments": 2

Can you see the pente in me fighting with the cynic in me?

My plans for Christmas and beyond

2005-12-19T14:18:00.000+13:00

My sister comes down from Auckland on the 21st and we are going to watch the Narnia movie as a whanua on the 22nd . Christmas Eve I’m doing Drugarm which will be fun. Christmas Day will again be with the extended family. Between Christmas and New Years some of my family are heading to Omahi Beach (not Omaha Beach that’s kinda out of our way). I may stay home and “house sit.” For “house sit” read “sleep in.” Then in early January I’m doing a kids camp with a friend of mine at Woodend. After that I don’t have any plans until March. What is happening in March? I here you ask with batted breath. Well I’m applying for a 6 month DTS in Cameroon, Africa. I decided a while ago that I needed to get away from commercialised, western stuff and give my self a new perspective on life, the universe and everything in it. So what better place to go than Africa eh?

Beginings and Endings

2005-12-09T15:58:00.000+13:00

Well it’s nearly the end of the year, that time when we look back and think about our lives and what we have achieved or haven’t achieved in another year.
So here it is with thoughts form the Semisonics “Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.” (Closing Time) With that gem of pop culture here it is a year in the life of Steve.

It was the best of times it was the worst of times.
2005 was a year when I began to work full-time.
It was a year when I learnt about myself and others.
It may be the end of my time as a teacher.
It saw the end of my year of independence, which came after the year of the rooster.
It was a year when my (extended) family had one wedding, two 21sts, a farewell, a homecoming, a baby and an adoption of sorts.
It was a year of confusion and frustration but also a year of opportunities, revelations, and breakthroughs. Hopefully the rest of the year and beyond will hold more of the same.

Must keep old things

2005-11-26T15:32:00.000+13:00

I’m a hoarder; I got it from my Mum. It is an annoying habit, but it is interesting on the odd occasion when you clean out the contents of your desk. Interesting contents I found:

Spiritual diaries (titled Mere Reflections One and Two) from many years back (1997 and 1998) funny I’m still praying the same prayers and struggling with the same things. I was so blatantly optimistic, now I’m a seasoned cynic (I blame Sociology).
Poetry – really bad poetry from when I was 17 or 18.
Photos of my trip to the US, Seventh Form formal and school production (ah good times).
A letter from Honduras (from Victor my World Vision child) and here I was thinking he had never written to me. Sometimes I’m amazed at how bad I am at organising anything.
My “goodbyes” book – the one you get everyone to sign on the last day of school. Also the one from the time in the states.

I did throw out quite a bit of stuff though.

We need the ladies.

2005-11-16T15:01:00.000+13:00

My Church has got an indoor soccer team but we entered it in to a mixed grade. So we need the ladies who want to play indoor soccer if you are keen for a Tuesday evening game of soccer, please tell me. No elaborate soccer skills required you just have to be a member of the fairer sex.

2005-11-06T19:02:00.000+13:00

I had my second speaking engagement at Church this morning. The pastor asked me to talk a few weeks ago, so I kind of shared a little bit of my testimony and my experience of being a bored, tired and ineffective Christian and how I got out of my “slump”.
I talked about DRUGARM and it was funny after the service I had the chance to talk to three different people who had come into contact with DRUGARM before.
All where former, current or reformed sniffers and prostitutes. It was pretty crazy and I had a few people who are interested in doing DRUGARM so that’s cool.
I wasn’t too nervous and I survived. It didn't help in my attempts to shake off the “pastor Steve” nickname that the youth group has given me. Huh last week it was “Dr. Steve” I’m not sure if that’s a promotion or not.
Last week my Church had the “youth band” (who don’t have a catchy pop name yet) leading worship. Yay I like our Church now, you can hear the guitar and there is a bass guitar that drowns out the recorder. The “new” pastor is cool and I have started meeting with him regularly. Its cool but the young people are still leaving for bigger inner city Churches.

THE ROADIE

2005-11-03T19:46:00.000+13:00

I have had an idea.
I was thinking that the South Island of this beautiful country is worth checking out, so why not go on a road trip or the traditonal "kiwi summer roadie".
But this roadie would not just be any old roadie; it would be the roadie to end all roadies.
I’m proposing a roadie without petrol in fact a roadie without a car.
What I’m talking about is hitching around this wonderful island, but I don’t want endless hours in cars with strangers, so I want a roadie homie.
If you want to come around the South Island with me please tell me. We could even turn it into an online roadie and make a blog out of it why not eh? I’m thinking around mid-late January through to February or an alternative is hitching to the ‘chute which would also be cool complete with music to cap it all of.

Christian pick up lines

2005-10-27T20:22:00.000+13:00

After reading Nato's post mentioning his use of the -without a doubt - worst Christian pick up line "What would you say if I told you God told me to marry you." I thought I would pull out this list that I got in an email ages ago.
In no particualar order:

* God told me to come and talk to you.
* Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
* Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.
* Christians don't shake hands, Christians gotta hug.
* The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed thehungry." How about dinner?
* If you held 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things God made.
* You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
* Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
* My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that's his name.
* Yeah I predicted David over Goliath.
* I didn't believe in angels until I met you.
* Nice Bible.
* (at church) So do you come here often?

Audio Description

2005-10-27T20:19:00.000+13:00

I saw an interesting thing on the news; apparently they have “audio descriptions” for the blind on movies. Basically they explain the characters movements, appearance and the setting etc. I just thought of some really interesting movie moments on audio description.

Steve’s top ten Audio Description moments:

10. “C3PO is a large golden robot that moves like he is a male model in a chaffing suit.” (A New Hope)

9. “Zoolander’s “magnum” looks like he has swallowed a large pickled onion.” (Zoolander)

8. “Ja-Ja Bings is a large lizard with a duck bill and ears like a blood hound and a Rastafarian accent. It doesn't look any better than it sounds.” (Episode One)

7. “Neo is surrounded by Smiths he swings on a pole and kicks many of them but there are more to replace those he has kicked.” (Matrix Reloaded)

6. “Frank is a giant bunny rabbit.” (Donnie Darko)

5. “The inside out pig lizard looks like an outtake from CSI.” (Galaxy Quest)

4. “The WWII Airplane has a grappling hook attached to the tail fin.” (Sky Captain of the Day of Tomorrow)

3. “Arwyn is not even a main character but she is in the movie because we need a token female character.” (The Two Towers).

2. “They are hitting the zombie in time to the music, while another character flicks the lights on and off. There are zombies outside the window rocking back and forth with their arms hanging limply.” (Shawn of the Dead)

1. “Uncle Rico picks up a piece of steak and throws it at Napoleon, hitting him in the head as he rides Pedro’s bike.” (Napoleon Dynamite)

I guess there is no alternative to actually being able to watch the movies.

Dumbness

2005-10-27T12:49:00.000+13:00

Huh, I’m dumb, or at least I had a dumb moment. I came home from Drugarm last Saturday at 1am. I went to the loo and I heard a beeping sound. I had no idea what it was so I started looking around the house for the infernal beeping. I looked in the kitchen, the bathroom, my room, my sister’s room, both toilets, the hallway I even checked the garage. Everywhere I went I could hear the beeping. I even got a torch and checked all around the house. It was softer outside. I checked the attic. After about 45 minutes of looking for the beeping I sat down on my bed and figured I would try to ignore it and go to bed. I took my keys out of my pocket, my wallet, and my cell phone……And of course it was beeping.
Man I’m dumb and that was before Shell stole my Grant. I better explain who Grant is, you know how you “lose your train of thought” well I figured that I kept losing my train of thought because my train of thought driver is so useless. My train of thought driver’s name is Grant but Shell stole him and took him to Australia and now he is failing her…HUH…nice one Grant. Anyway I need a new driver……..

A Fine Knock

2005-10-25T08:30:00.000+13:00

*Steve raises his bat and salutes the crowd* - thats a fine knock he has battled his way through to 50 posts. It has been a gutsy knocks that was slow at times but he stuck in there and now it has paid off. The question on everyones lips is can he go one from here?

Advice

2005-10-17T16:18:00.000+13:00

Hey all, the youth pastor at my church has asked me to help out with giving advice to Year 11-13 (Form 5-7) students sitting exams soon. Is anybody available that can help next Wednesday evening? preferably with experience of studying for Maths and Science type exams, because I haven’t done one for 7 years!!
There will be about 20 young people and they are all pretty good and you shouldn't have any problems.
Also if you have any helpful advice on studying and taking notes writing essays etc. that I could pass on, can you post some comments thanks.

Crash Part 2: Sterotypes, Labels and First Impressions

2005-10-15T14:22:00.000+13:00

DISCLAIMER: I am not encouraging the assumptions I confer in this post, I am simply identifying the fact that we (including myself) make them.

Identity creation for a society is as much to do with identifying what we are not as identifying what we are. The part of my identity that classifies me as a Christian also classifies me as not a Muslim. This identifying the “other” - those things that we are not and are therefore different – is a very important part of community identity. We identify the “other” by establishing stereotypes to help us understand what we expect form the “other” person. This is not new; society has always been a diverse collection of people with connections with people from “outside” the society. But this is much more prevalent now.

If you were living 300 years ago in Mother England you wouldn’t come into contact with the kind of people traditionally thought of as “other”, now England is one of the most diverse (culturally, ethnically and religiously) places on earth.

I think a result of this has been the fact that stereotypes and labels dominate our relationships. As soon as we meet someone we have made judgments and attached “labels” to them. By looking at someone’s physical appearance we can and do make judgments about their gender, ethnicity, age, religion, sexual orientation and member ship of a sub-cultural group.
If we see a girl with a long black dress, died black hair, black nail polish, black lipstick and a Pentagon medallion we make certain assumptions about her behavior, her religion and her worldview.
When the person opens their mouth this deepens the contact and we can establish competency with the English language and therefore education, accent and therefore ethnic, regional or class background.
This label creating carries itself over to cocktail conversation or small talk.
The normal questions go something like this:

1) “What is your name?” This can tell us ethnicity, religion and class background. We have names that we associate with a particular group ie Jamal is normally associated with African Americans, Mohammad with Muslims, and Rupert Theodore III with Upper class Europeans.

2) “What do you do?” What is your job? Are you studying? Etc.
This question helps us to establish class background, economic status and in some case we make assumptions about behavior and personality.

3) “So what are you studying?” As students (or former students) we have assumptions we make about behavior and personality based on the major you choose.

4) As Christians our cocktail conversation extends even further and we make further assumptions through the question “Ah you’re a Christian where do you go to Church?” We then can establish labels and stereotypes based on the answer to this all-important question “Oh, you’re an Anglican, say no more.”

5) “What you haven’t seen Napoleon Dynamite?” oh sorry this is not really an important question, but we can make assumptions based on the answer. :)

Stereotypes are an inevitable by product of diversity; ever since Adam noticed that Eve was different he started to form assumptions (as did she) in his mind regarding the implications of this observed difference.

Stereotypes are inevitable but that does not mean they are always positive as is plainly obvious from Brotown. The lack of brown faces on T.V led to a show which reinforced the stereotypes people already had and meant that sure there was brown face on T.V but are they positive role models? Even if they are real funny ouh.
The Simpsons, would never have got past its first season if it wasn’t for the stereotypes it reinforces ie the capitalist, the mindless lackey, the brat, the fat slob, the fundy Christian, the ethnic diary owner etc.

Stereotypes can cause laughter (sometimes as in the case of Crash uncomfortable laughter) but they are also negative. A real life example one of my friends at school had parents who were from Singapore so she was “Asian” despite the fact she had lived in New Zealand all her life and didn’t speak any Asian languages (that is right plural there is more than Asian language). During the 1990’s in ethnically accepting New Zealand (sic) people often talked to her slowly the first time they meet her assuming she was unable to speak English. In the 1990’s in New Zealand (and still true today in some parts of Southland) Asian = Japanese.
In the movie Crash the line that best demonstrates this is “My mother was from Costa Rica, my father from Puerto Rico, neither one of which is Mexico.” Based on the assumption that Spanish speaking = Mexican.
If stereotypes weren’t true the following labeling of myself as a (in no particular order) twenty-something, white, Anglo-Saxon, male, single, heterosexual, middleclass, politically conservative, evangelical, pentecostal, Christian, New Zealander would be completely meaningless however you can (and do) make many right and wrong assumption about my behavior and personality based on these assumptions.

Crash Part 1: Fragmented Relationsships.

2005-10-08T16:23:00.000+13:00

I went to Crash (the movie) with a few people last night. I, like Christina, really enjoyed it. I can recommend it too any one. You got attached to the characters easily even though there was so many and you didn’t know the names of most of them (I wonder if that was intentional). After a while you realized that every one of the characters was making preconceived judgments about others. It seemed funny at first. Then you realize that camera is turned on you and you make the same judgments as the characters and you feel uncomfortable and guilty.

I can’t avoid looking at things from Sociological point of view so I had some thoughts that related to the movie. I will divide them into three posts. These are just my thoughts with no research.

One of the characters in the movie noted that in urban environments humans seem to lack meaningful contact with each so we seem to be drawn to “crash” into each other. Sort of like short episodes of dramatic intense emotional interaction with each other.
Most sociologists would agree that urbanization in the last couple of hundred years has resulted in a fragmentation of relationships.

1) The number of people confined in a limited space means that you cant have meaningful relationships with everybody you interact with.

2) Because so many people are in a small area this raises many problems, one of them being the fear of the unknown or “the other”. This xenophobia is particularly prevalent in multicultural cities like L.A, Auckland and to a lesser extent Christchurch.

3) There are time restrictions placed on us by society and ourselves and a lot of people are too busy to develop meaningful relationships even with their spouses and children.

4) Because so many modern relationships are economically based they often don’t get particularly deep or meaningful.

These four things (number of people, fear, time and economics) mean that most relationships in urban areas are by nature fleeting, shallow and fragmented and it does seem that we are floating in a vacuum.
Even some of the relationships with people we interact with on a regular basis (or are related to ) are uncomfortably hollow.
We might know a collection of information about the person but do we really know them?
This creates strange situations were you meet someone for a short period of time and interact in a fairly meaningful way at the end you say “see you later” when you are quite aware that you probably never will. (This often happens at Christian camps, or music festivals!)

Lots of different sociologists would have varied ideas about it. Berger would say it was a result of disintegration of the “sacred canopy” (worth a post in it self at a latter date), Durkheim would say it was a result of increased bureaucracy and Marx would mumble about class conflict.The next post will be on stereotypes, labels and first impressions.

Fame

2005-10-06T17:00:00.000+13:00

My friend has just loaned me a book Fame in the 20th Century by Clive James, it as a gem of literary wit, with such majestic lines as:

Arnie described as looking like a “rubber life raft which has been randomly tied up with string before being suddenly inflated and dipped in liquid bronze.”

And “As the slaughter (World War I) commenced, the news was dominated by nineteenth-century-style moustaches. Behind them were men in charge, but you could hardly see them….Kaiser Wilhelm was the chief German Moustache….Britain’s Prime Ministerial moustache was Loyd George.

“(Rudolph) Valentino was equipped with a smoldering glance that could reach all the way to the cheap seat and scorch the spit curl on a flapper’s forehead to a frazzled pretzel.”

The Big Questions

2005-10-03T15:51:00.000+13:00

Sometimes it is good when people ask you the big questions, this happened to me on Saturday night at Drug-arm. Talking to a group of young people (about 13-15) in town they had some interesting questions.
Why do you believe in God when you can’t see him?
Why can’t God accept me they way I’m?
Why does God put limits on our (sexual) identity?
Why did God let my father die? and what did I do to deserve it?
Why did God make people gay?
So Jesus is his own father? (After trying to explain the trinity)
So God and Jesus are in a rock band called The Egg? (More confusion over analogies for the trinity)
So was Jesus a bass guitarist? (Still more confusion)
Why is there so much suffering if God loves us?
What did the starving African children do to deserve suffering?
Why did God make mental illness?
What is the meaning of life, the universe and everything it? (oh wait I know the answer to this one 7x6)

I learnt that I don’t have easy answers to these questions, but I was able to pray with a few of them.
P.S. So long and thanks for all the fish.

Eat your ham Tina!

2005-09-18T18:21:00.000+12:00

Meet my pet Lama, Tina, she likes ham :) . The website also has penguins (so you won’t have to do a jig) cats, dogs, hamsters on wheels and fish that you can feed.

My Nemesis

2005-09-18T17:41:00.000+12:00

I have identified my nemesis. On Saturday night he caused me grief and humiliation by revealing my weakness and much laughter from my peers ensued. He lives in a box of metallic evil. Many people enjoy his presence, especially when friends are gathered, but not me I shall avoid my nemesis now that I have identified him. My nemesis is Singstar!

Business Proposal

2005-09-12T19:06:00.000+12:00

Hey all, I have a business proposal for all those Home* fans out there. I want some Home* gear but I don’t want to pay high shipping costs. So here is the plan I gather together some orders for Home* gear clothes, hats, bumper stickers etc and ship it as one order and save on shipping. If you multiply the prices on the Home* site by about 1.5 this will give you the price in NZ and no profit margin for me. So if you want some Home* gear please contact me or comment on this post with the product number and quantity in the next few weeks.

Media Spin

2005-08-25T15:48:00.000+12:00

While I’m on my box, I was appalled, but not surprised to find the French Sports Media attacking Lance Armstrong. The allegations are not new when ever you have an athlete that dominates the sport like Lance did you get suspicion. They French are just miffed that he wasn’t like Lancé Armstrong from Paris rather than from Texas. Le Tour is a part of the French identity the fact that a Frenchmen hasn’t won for a long time is hard for them to stomach. The fact that the guy that came and dominated the Tour was American does go down well in France. One French commentator suggests that it was appalling “used” cancer as an excuse to take drugs and win the tour is absolutely ridiculously. He suggested that Lance’s comments that it was cancer that gave him motivation to win the tour were a cover up for the drugs. Lance said that cancer was the reason he competed because he wanted to prove that cancer is not a life sentence that only can you survive cancer but it can make you stronger. So how did Lance win then without the drugs? Well I think it is a mixture of two things determination and freaky genetics. Since Lance was young he was into endurance sports and the Tour was the natural place for him, he was determined to win and looked a world-beater before the cancer. Cancer only made Lance more determined and more convinced that he need to win the Tour. He lives and breathes the Tour; trains for it like no other cyclist in the world. It helps that he was born with a heart 10% bigger than most babies that size certainly helped. Having a huge lung capacity also won’t do an endurance athlete any harm; his body can process oxygen and pump blood way more efficiently than other athletes. The French can’t prove that the samples are Lance’s and Lance can’t prove they are not. They waited till after he retired, despite the samples are from the 1999 tour and have been frozen since. Lance can’t go out and clear his name by winning the race an eighth time, so he has to fight these claims in court. The French have no gratitude for the fact the fact that Lance and the international viewers that followed him saved the Tour. Before Lance the Tour was a race raced by Europeans and not much viewership outside of Europe, the last tour saw 4 or 5 Americans in the top 20 and 1 French men, along with a record number of Aussies. Lance has made the tour worth watching and now he (not that the attacks are new) is being accused of bring the sport into disrepute

There it is!

2005-08-25T15:29:00.001+12:00

Oh there it is …my soap-box. That’s right it is media bashing time. I was not impressed with the leaders “debate” and the spin attached to it. Media experts seem to think that Helen “won” the debate because she could yell with more rancor and cackle louder than Don. Apparently this is a desirable attribute in a politician where as respect, integrity, and being well-spoken aren’t, go figure. I was amused by the question about character when the leaders were asked to comment on the others character, both made glowing remarks. Guess this is like rugby where two teams brutalise each other for 80 minutes and then shake hands and give “full credit” to each other at the end.

Lost: Steve's Soap Box

2005-08-25T15:29:00.000+12:00

Has anyone seen my soap box?

To the Victor the spoils

2005-08-20T10:56:00.000+12:00

I have decided to end my “Evil Ploy” and repent, which there is a winner as off 11am 20 August 2005 Micelle “Middle Name” Walker is the winner congratualations Michelle your prize will be delievered tonight. I shall now delete the post (on advice of NATO of the Van Rij kind not the North Atlantic Trade Agreement). Thank you for the support I would like to thank the wonderful group of people that made this ploy possible (ie fell for it :) ). Shell, Baby Ruth, Christina, AJ and J-Rod.

Weirded out man

2005-08-17T15:26:00.000+12:00

*Eh Steve looks puzzled and a little confused.* Um my “evil ploy” backfired horribly – I think people must have some way of searching for posts with lots of comments, assume they have lots of “eye traffic” (like foot traffic except with your eyes) and then post ads for random products. Now I’m concerned these people ARE reading my blog I have no idea who they are this is way weird. When you start blogging you think sure it is on the internet but people won’t actually read the rambling of a semi-deranged twenty something Christian boy from the wops will they? They are and now I’m worried.

Chi Chi Chi !!!

2005-08-17T12:52:00.000+12:00

Yes I watched “Bend It like Beckham” and being an avid (and at times rabid) Liverpool fan I had to watch it with scepticism. As a sociologist their portrayal of female sport was not the best they were portrayed primarily as sex symbols secondly as athletes. This is shown in the fact that the practice with no shirts on, in sports bras and play in the sprinklers. It reminds of Sep Blater’s (head of FIFA) comments when asked how to promote woman’s soccer – his response “wear shorter shorts” was not helpful. I mean do people really watch woman’ tennis because of the level of competition or is it the tall, blonde teenage Russian super-models?
Anyway the movie on the whole is pretty cool init. I like the “so the offside rule is when the mustard is between the sea-salt and the French dressing?”
I can relate to Jezz, not because I am Indian but because I played Hockey and never felt that my family supported me. I was in about standard 3 when I was playing hockey but I had to bike to my own games and the only time my dad came to games was when they were at Hagley Park and James was playing soccer at the same time. I remember coming home from a game where I had done really well i had scorred a couple of goals. My dad was in the garage working on the car I excited spurted the details of the games and he didn’t even say anything. I went inside and mum - having limited knowledge of any sport - asked me all about the game. It got worse when my brother and sister started doing athletics not only did dad go every Saturday, but he trained as an athletics official. He went with them to national and provincials. We even took a holiday to Invers’ to support them at an event. I felt very dejected, and I try to convince myself I got over it but it was for me just the icing on the cake in trying to get my dad’s attention a battle I was pursing for 15 years before I gave up.
LATERS

Electioneering

2005-07-27T12:40:00.000+12:00

I wonder if Helen and Labour will go through Ashburton on their electioneering campaign. If so they should borrow that town’s motto “whatever it takes”. Labour’s policy of writing off interest on student loans is desperate, vote for me I will pay you money PLEASE. But I would say that given I am one of the many NZders going overseas to pay off my loan. Degrees are already devalued without making them effectively free. What is stopping me from enrolling in Dentistry getting $100,000 not going to class and then investing it in a brothel (which thanks to Labour are now legal!!). GARRR what are you doing Helen? It is my money and it is bad enough it already goes to paying for sex-changes for prisoners and genocide of the unborn now you are trying to give free money to everyone that wants to study Hip-Hop 101. I agree with this guy.

Actualality

2005-07-27T12:25:00.000+12:00

Wow, it feels weird to have an actual job with actual money (rather than peanuts at B.P especially with the exchange rate of peanuts to the New Zealand dollar.), and get this I don’t even need a name badge!!! (and I get to wear pants with pockets in them). That is right I am relieving at my mum’s school for three weeks. It is good to get teaching experience and get paid and not have big brother watching me. It is a steep learning curve but this is good. On another note I have decided I will go through with the court case against B.P for my addiction to peanuts (peanuts = the real “P”).

Arts Festival

2005-07-19T16:44:00.000+12:00

Hey everyone, the Christchurch Arts Festival is looking for voulnteers to hang out and watch movies :). Whats more you get free tickets to Applaud 2005. I want to do it so txt me call me or post a comment in the next few days. Check out the website.
Laters

Hollywood Tripe

2005-07-11T22:13:00.000+12:00

I have recently noticed that a large number of period movies (mostly medieval) seem to have the characters taking modern views (political and religious) that people during these areas would not have shared at all. There is a name for this and I really should know it being a Historian but I have completely forgotten.
Anyway my friend sent me this as an email:

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
Let’s say you were setting out to make a parody of contemporary Hollywood’s inability to make a film on any historical subject except through the prism of its own droning self-congratulatory predictable pieties, and let’s say you’d picked as the topic for this parody the Crusades — you remember, long wars back in the day, Muslims vs Christians. What would this parody look like?
Well, for a start, this Crusade wouldn’t be between Muslims and Christians, it would be between the ‘fanatics on both sides’ and enlightened progressive types who just want to live together celebrating their multicultural diversity. When I say ‘fanatics on both sides’, whoa, don’t worry: showing the fanatics on the Muslim side might be injurious to one’s long-term health and there’s no Oscar for Best Fatwa. So in practice we’d focus on the fanatics on the Christian side — rich white racists, sort of like early Bush voters — and the hero opposing them would be a maverick Crusader, a brave secular progressive with the cojones to stand up to them. Sort of like Sir Ridley Scott, but younger and better backlit, though just as mystifyingly knighted. He’d have a beard, though not too full a beard, but not too neat and groomed and effete either. In fact, we’d spend quite a bit of money grooming it into its ungroomed look.
He has to be a knight, of course, otherwise he wouldn’t get access to the posh totty wandering round the mediaeval banqueting suites or get to object when the by-the-book Crusaders propose slaughtering all the Muslims. But he’s not really cool with the whole knight club scene. His place is with the people. Wherever he goes, the extras love him. On his own land, he pitches in to help dig the irrigation channels, working side by side with minimum-wage non-speaking members of both Christian Equity and Islamic Equity. And, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s the only commander on the Christian side who isn’t an incompetent boob, he’d gladly go back to his old job of...hmm, let’s see: boyband lead singer? London motorcycle courier? Demi Moore’s new beau? Second-year Gwent Polytechnic sociology student? No, I’ve got it. We’ll make him a blacksmith. Young, gifted and blacksmith, that’s our boy — off to the Holy Land to clean out the Augean stables. Mr Blacksmith Goes to Jerusalem.
How about the girl? I’m sorry, I mean of course ‘strong independent woman’. She’s the people’s princess, kohl-rimmed eyes and all. She looks as babelicious as the hero, but with less facial hair. She thinks nothing of riding out into the desert, dropping her veil and shagging like a minx.
Oh, and who do we get for Saladin? We need someone cool, measured, wise — not like these religious-right moral-majority nuts on the Christian side. Someone tall, dark and handsome. Hey, how about Osama bin Laden? Oh, okay, if we’ve been faxing the cave for two months and he still won’t play ball, let’s make do with Ghassan Massoud, who’s a close enough Osama bin Ladalike, at least in the long shots.
And, while we’re at it, for the full supporting knights get some of those high-toned Brit types — Sir Jeremy Irons, Sir David Thewlis, Sir Liam Neeson, Sir Laurence Olivier, Sir John Gielgud, Sir Norman Wisdom (check availability) — but just give ’em a couple of lines every 20 minutes or so, in between battle scenes. They can say things like ‘I put no stock in religion’ in a worldly drawl.
Thus does Sir Ridley Scott’s Kingdom of Heaven proceed, from one birdbrained ahistorical cliché to another, until at last Balian of Ibelin (the impeccably dishevelled Orlando Bloom) comes face to face with Saladin and threatens to destroy Jerusalem’s holy sites, all of them, mosque and sepulchre alike — ‘Your holy places, ours, everything that drives men mad.’ Hold that thought, because certainly nobody held it in 1187 — and in the false tinkle of that line you hear everything that’s wrong with this movie. I doubt you could have found one bloke on either side who’d utter such a formulation — in its smug assumptions about ‘organised religion’, it’s a Hollywood dinner-party thought. Likewise, ‘I put no stock in religion.’ Eight centuries ago, ‘religion’ wasn’t something you had the option of putting stock in. It was what you were, Christian or Muslim, believer or infidel. Scott has Jeremy Irons shrug it off as if he were saying, ‘I’m not really into movies.’
The problem with Kingdom of Heaven is not that it’s hostile to Christianity or sympathetic to Islam but that it has such little feeling for either faith, save as a pretext for war and killing and ‘driving men mad’. What’s really mad is that this film made it to general release without anybody in the process saying, ‘Er, Ridley, I think you’re missing the point here.’ And, without religion, what’s left? A boring story punctuated by expensively dull carnage. If Jeremy Irons puts no stock in religion, Ridley Scott’s mistake is to put no religion in his stock footage.The Spectator, May 14th 2005 - Mark Steyn.

I find it fairly interesting, I although I have not seen the movie. I had similar views of the movie King Arthur; it portrays King Arthur as a half Roman, half British commander of a group of Samarian (modern day Ukraine) knights. King Arthur is a Christian; all of his knights are pagans and openly question his faith. Asking why he prays and whether his God listens – after a while it becomes apparent that the god that Arthur prays to is powerless if not non existent. The other characters who share the Christian faith are either:
a) Power hunger megalomaniacs
b) Cowardly bureaucrats
c) Cruel slave-holders/ evil overlords.
It is not until Arthur gives up the utopian (sic) view and cause that he is fighting for (Roman Christian faith) and embraces a “realistic” cause (the ever clichéd “freedom”) that of his pagan brothers in arms that he has any success. Arthur forsakes his useless and irrelevant god and embraces the paganism of his knights becoming King of England in a pagan ceremony complete with druids, flowers and stone henge like monuments.
Is this in any way realistic? Or is this just taking Hollywood’s secular humanism/ anti-Christian/ atheism and applying it to a time period when religion was anything but irrelevant?

Aid

2005-07-11T19:01:00.002+12:00

I saw this interview today. I found it quite interesting because I did a course on “Sustainable development” at varsity (contrary to popular belief I did attend varsity). I am a little sceptical of governmental aid, don’t get me wrong, aid is great in theory but some aid is not effective if not harmful. Here I need to make a distinction between governmental and non-governmental aid. Governmental aid is aid given by one government to another – the money goes to the government of the receiving nation to distribute, as they will. This distribution is done often to the people that support the government and can be distributed on religious, ethnic, tribal or political lines.
Non-governmental aid is done by organisations (eg World Vision and Oxfam) that are not affiliated with any government and the benefits of development go straight to the people who need the aid regardless of ethnicity, religion, tribal or political affiliation. Governmental aid is subject to limits, many governments will only be given aid when they fall in line with the political and social views of the giver nation. Although this is good in encouraging “democratic” policies in developing nations it also means that if a government does not fit in to the “democratic” worldview then their citizens do not receive the limited benefits of governmental aid (if there are any). Another disadvantage is that developing nations become dependent on aid from developed nations, to the point that they never become self-sufficient, this is beneficial to the developed nations as they (the developing nations) pose potential market competition if they ever become self-sufficient. So the developed nations attempt to keep these countries in this position of dependence. I am not bagging the motives behind the aid (although some are dubious) but rather the practice of governmental aid. Non-governmental aid on the other hand is fantastic. Organisations like Oxfam, World Vision and Trade Aid attempt to encourage micro-enterprise and self-sufficiency. Encouraging people to donate goats or piggeries (Swedish or otherwise :) ) that will actually help a family and community to become self-sufficient. Their efforts are of benefit to whole communities and I think what they are doing is wonderful and transforming communities in developing nations. To use an overused cliché analogy if I may- Governmental aid is like giving a man (or woman) a fish and non-governmental aid is teaching a man (or woman) to fish.
To explain my phraseology (Actual word) I use the term “developed” and “developing” reluctantly. Why? Because these terms are loaded with connotations of suggesting “development” (whatever that means) is some how of value in and of its self and that all countries should seek to become “developed”. The term “west” and “east” (or “north” and “south” where north=America + Europe and south= everywhere else) are misleading also. The terms “first world” and “third world” are also redundant given that the “second world” (communism) only includes a handful of nations.

Le Tour

2005-07-05T23:46:00.000+12:00

I am hooked – The Tour de France is on at the moment and I am actually interested in it.
When I was young I thought cycling was real cool, it was my favorite Olympic sport and I thought the time trials where cool how the guys slip-streamed each other. I use to watch it then go and ride around the cul-de-sac where I live and pretend I was an Olympic cyclist.
Slipstreaming – means that each cyclist is right on the wheel of the cyclist in front of him- this reduces the amount of wind resistance you face and reduces the amount of energy by 33%. The cyclists rotate each having a turn at “pulling the train” – that is being at the front to conserve energy.
Last year I read both Lance Armstrong’s books. I started to become more interested in the spectacle that is the Tour de France. The Tour is a series of stages (21 in all) over three weeks around France. There are four types of stage – flat, mountain, individual time trial and team time trial. There are four different jerseys that cyclists compete for.
GREEN JERSEY - Sprints
Flatland stages: 35, 30, 26, 24, 22, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1 points are awarded to the first 25 riders across the finish.
Medium-mountain stages: 25, 22, 20, 18, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 points are awarded to the first 20 riders across the finish.
High-mountain stages: 20, 17, 15, 13, 12, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 points are awarded to the first 15 riders across the finish.
Time-trials: 15, 12, 10, 8, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 points are awarded to the top 10 finishers of the stage.
For every intermediate sprint, (through out each stage) the first three riders to the line receive 6, 4 and 2 points respectively.
POLKA-DOT JERSEY - HOW IT WORKS
The Tour de France's best-climber ranking is determined by the accumulation of mountain points throughout the race. The breakdown is as follows:
Climbs rated Beyond Category: 20, 18, 16, 14, 12, 10, 8, 7, 6 and 5 points for the first 10 riders to the summit.
Climbs rated Category 1: 15, 13, 11, 9, 8, 7, 6 and 5 points for the first 8 riders to the summit.
Climbs rated Category 2: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, and 5 for the first 6 riders to the summit.
Climbs rated Category 3: 4, 3, 2 and 1 points for the first 4 riders to the summit.
Climbs rated Category 4: 3, 2 and 1 points for the first 3 riders to the summit.
The Yellow Jersey-Overall

The yellow jersey is given to the rider with the best overall time. To win the Tour these days you need to be good in the mountains and time trials because these are the stages that open up the biggest time gap. Sprinters normally finish within about 10 sec of the main group but climbers can finish up to 20 minutes ahead of other racers.

The White Jersey –Overall Young Rider
Goes to who is under 25 years old with the best overall time.

The reason I find it interesting is the strategies involved, teams ride to help one cyclist win – that might be the green, yellow, pokka dot or white jersey. At the end all the prize money does not go to the individual but to the team which is then split 9 ways. The athletes are amazing to compete for three weeks at a high level, to bike hundreds of km a lot of it over mountains. Some of the stages finish at towns with ski fields – imagine biking to Mt Hutt!!
I was watching the 2nd stage the other day, a short (sic) stage (180km) that ended in a sprint finish. Four cyclists broke away from the main group early and stayed at the front most the race. The peloton (French for main group or something) let them go because they knew they could catch them at the end. So they got about 4 minutes ahead of the main group. This is where I saw three of the weirdest things I have seen in a sport
(a) Four guys trying to get to the top of a hill the quickest on bikes. Here is how it went – David Canada drops off the back off the other three guys and then powers over to the opposite side of the road – to prevent guys from getting in his slip-stream. Thomas Voekler and Calzanti drop then try to chase him with Calzanti at the front and Thomas riding the slip-stream to conserve energy. Thomas then powered up to David and got in his slip-stream again conserving energy and the motored past David for the points.
(b) I guy crashed and he had to catch up with the peloton so what happened next? He got a new bike – during the race – and this is legal.
He got into the slip-stream of the cars following the peloton!! And this is legal – given this guy didn’t really have a chance of winning. The drivers of the support cars of other teams actually slowed down to allow him to get the slip stream. Why? Because they expect everyone to do the same it is an unwritten rule of cycling. Then the guy is riding beside his team car holding the car with his left hand his bike with his right. The driver is driving with his left and fixing the guys bake brake with this right hand!! And this is legal!!
(c) Then the sprint finish – Teams get trains – a line of about four riders with the best sprinter at the back the next best in front of him- and “lead out” there sprinters and get to the front- the trains then leave the last to guys – the lead off and the sprinter to head for the line. What ensues is a complete mess of arms, legs and wheels as guys hurtle towards the line at ludicrous speed with no consideration of life and limb.

Confused

2005-07-05T23:00:00.000+12:00

I’m confused, I have the most amazing opportunity of my life and I don’t know what to do.
The opportunity: I (provided I pass my course which finishes in two weeks) will be a qualified English Language teacher.
The problem: Where do I go to teach English?
I would like to link to a previous post and carry on some of my thoughts. God continues to challenge me about my understanding of him. God is NOT a good luck charm.
Anyway back to the point, I have a choice to make (assuming you believe in free will J), but I don’t want to make the choice myself I want God to be involved in the whole process. I have talked to and prayed with some of the leaders of my church about the whole situation. I have been struggling with the idea of God’s will (any thoughts would be useful please) Does God have a specific place he wants me to go? or is the choice less important and the going faithfully (anywhere) the key?
At the moment I am very keen to do a YWAM DTS (Youth With A Mission, Discipleship Training School- for those that are not fluent in Cristianese) before I go teaching and it would be practical to do the DTS in the general area of where I am going to be teaching. My favored plans at this stage are South America, China, and Eastern Europe I will go through the pros and cons of each as I see them. There are plenty of English teaching jobs in all of these areas.
South America- I think this is the one I am leaning towards at the moment. There are plenty of DTS’ in America (North and South) – all the ones in the South obviously have a tendency to be in Spanish- I slight deterrent, given all the Spanish I know consists of what I learnt from Asterix and Obelix books – OLE!! But if/when I learn Spanish I can travel through out most of the continent (except Brazil where they speak Portuguese- Asterix and Obelix did not go to Portugal so I don’t know any Portuguese). The DTS’ in North America while in English (except the ones in Canadian- Nice Jorb!!) are more expensive though.
YWAM is very active in South America and so are some other Christian organizations that I am interested in working with in the long term like World Vision.
Summary-
:) lots of DTS’
:)organizations involved in area
:( I cant speak Spanish OLE 0r Portuguese
Eastern Europe – There are lots of DTS’ through out Europe, many in English, in cost between South and North America. They also speak a different languages in Eastern Europe, hence the need for English teachersJ, – Polish won’t help me much in Latvia. Many of the Eastern European languages also use the Cyrillian alphabet – which means I would have to learn to read and write again.
Summary-
:) Lots of DTS’ in English
:( Languages to learn
:( Oh yeah it is COLD
China- There are no DTS’ in China, however there are DTS’ close to China (Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Singapore) that are in English. Chinese is a scary language and I will have to learn to read and write again. I don’t really like Asian climates – from my experience playing basketball in 35+ degrees, 90% humidity outside at lunch time in Thailand.
Summary
:) Lots of Jobs
:)DTS’ in English
:( The language freaks me out
:( The climate
:( The whole repressive communist government thing

I am not really afraid of the prospect of leaving my family and friends and going to a different country where I don’t know how to say anything (OLE). I see it as an adventure a challenge and I am looking forward to the experience. I am just confused over the process any thoughts would be appreciated as would prayers. The time frame at this stage is fairly loose because I need to save money for the DTS which does not come cheap.

A parable from Air New Zealand.

2005-05-14T22:04:00.000+12:00

I was praying with Shell, Rae, A-J and Jeremy and I was reminded of something.
The kingdom of God is like two men on a plane….
One man gets given a parachute and told the parachute will improve his flight. He likes this idea so he puts it on, after while he starts to feel uncomfortable- wearing a parachute in an airplane seat will do that. The other passengers start laughing at him and mocking him “nice parachute dude” they taunt in a taunting kind of way. After a period of mockery and a restless flight he gets sick of the parachute and throws it on the floor in disgust, the parachute did not improve his flight.
A second man is on a plane he is offered an eerily similar parachute, but told that the plane WILL crash and the parachute will save his life. He also is uncomfortable and mocked, but this man persists, surely a little discomfort and ridicule is worth his life.
Here is the breakdown, some of us get sold a man (woman) centered gospel/parachute, we get told (or we tell others) that it will improve our lives. God will help us through our flight. As soon as the discomfort and persecution comes we throw off the gospel disgusted that it didn’t improve our life at all. The second man gets told a God centered gospel the gospel is not about him it is about his fate- What will happen when the plane crashes? (And the plane will crash). This man can handle the discomfort and persecution because he has the right perspective- It IS a matter of life and death. How many of us got told that the gospel and following God was all about God blessing us? We made a choice when we were on a mountain top, but we need to think about our choice- it IS a matter of life and death.
How do we spread the gospel? – In a prosperity doctrine kind of way or a black and white, life and death, heaven or hell kind of way. It reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw once – Eternity, smoking or non-smoking? It is your choice. (Unless you’re a Calvinist, then it is predetermined, but I don’t want to open that can of worms.)

You see bones- I see an army!!!

2005-05-13T12:24:00.000+12:00

I was reading the book Red Moon Rising, which is about the guy who was used by God to start the 24-7 prayer movement in England. It was really challenging, God IS moving in the western church in Europe, America, Australia and New Zealand raising up young people (and old people) to pray. He IS raising up an army out of dry bones an army that is marching to God’s drum beat, and marching on their knees in prayer. He is calling this generation to come to him in a new way, broken, dependant and expectant.
Check out the link 24-7 Prayer.
Then I found out that our church was doing a week of 24-7 prayer. I signed up for the “dawn patrol” 5-6 every morning and a few 4am starts as well, because I felt I needed to come to God and lay my life at his feet in a fresh way. It has been the most amazing and exhausting week of my life. I have gone through every emotion including anger, frustration, peace, acceptance, fear, excitement, exhaustion and relief. I have spent my mornings marching around a prayer room, speaking in tongues, soaking in worship music and lying prostrate on the floor at the foot of the cross staring at the size of ninch inch nails. And I want to do it again. God has spoken to me in a fresh way and challenged me to turn off the cruise control on my life. I have for a number of years now been limiting God to a god (with a small g) made in my image, a god that was a “good luck charm” that blessed me and helped me through hard times, boy is this a limited picture of the Almighty God! I have been assuming that God will bless me without consulting God in my life and waiting on him. God has challenged me with Joshua 3:3-5 which is talking about the Israelites on the bank of the River Jordon, God lead the ark of the covenant (representing his presence) through their camp and asked them to follow, BUT they where not to come within 1000 yards of the ark (except the Levities carrying the ark). Then he commands them “to consecrate your selves for tomorrow I am going to do amazing things.” (v5)
To me this was a challenge that I (and many other individuals, as well as the corporate western church) had tried to take the ark of the covenant (God's presence) and carry it where we wanted, to bend God to our will. But that is not at all biblical we are to follow God’s presence. Specifically I had made up my mind on where I wanted to go next year. I have the best opportunity to be used by God and here I was making my mind up BY MYSELF, without consulting God. The story of Joshua challenged me that we need to do things his way even when they sound daft (like yelling at walls, and sending half your army home!). This was not the only area God challenged me, but it was the major one.
I think the whole thing comes from the idea that we can create a limited, comfortable, safe God that won’t shake us and challenge us, and we have in the west and I personally have. But this is not the God of the bible; who led Daniel into a lions den, asked Abraham to sacrifice his promised son, gave Paul a “thorn in his flesh”, ruined Job and allowed the Babylonians to take the Israelites into captivity. Why? Because he wanted to teach them to be dependent on him for everything. So I have been challenged to lay my plains at his feet and dedicate this opportunity to him, a chance to do his will rather than mine, and to teach me to be dependent on him for everything. I emplore you to read the book it will seriuosly change your life and your perspective of God, prayer and the Holy Spirit.

Evil Empires

2005-04-10T16:27:00.000+12:00

Hey I am still around, despite not being seen by many people and hiding away. I have just sold my social life to a big faceless/evil empire cooperation known as BP oil limited. I have been working shifts that have meant that I have missed many social gatherings and things that I would have liked to attend. I did enjoy ice skating the other night despite the blisters and 8 hours of standing up the next day. My course starts up on the 18th so that will be great I am looking forward to accessing the now dusty catacombs of my brain. BP is going through a procedure known as "accelerator" to the laymen this means "Mcdonaldisation" ie: the standardization of all BP owned stores world-wide. This has in resulted in 45% of management staff in the North Island leaving (or being made redundant), it has also been referred to as "streamlining" or "synergism" I think the BP head office have been reading to meant Dillbert cartoons, and I am sure that when the sun shines at the right angle my boss has spiky hair!
What will "accelerator" mean for me, the average BP employee? Our forecourt policy will change- rather than offering to help (as many of our customers enjoy and thank us for) we are now only suppose to serve if asked for help, and that includes windscreens, oil and water. This policy change can only be because New Zealand is a dinosaur when it comes to Forecourt service being one of the only countries around that will still offer service. In Australia many forecourt attendants will refuse to serve people for fear of being sued for damaging a car or using the wrong fuel. I know people appreciate service on the forecourt and I think that a Service Station NEEDS to offer SERVICE, I understand that a large number of our customers are able and willing to fill their own cars, but what of those that aren't? are they to be neglected and told to go to another station? (good luck in finding one that will still offer service). Alas I think another dinosaur has become extinct.
"Accelerator" has also meant the redundancy of many stuff that have been at BP for 14 years, I know this is sad and depressing and I in no way condone staying at BP for that long but these employees should be valued. In one of our staff meetings it was pointed out that there was no use in fighting these "improvements" because they will happen regardless of what we think...Read "you are being steam-rolled, have a nice day, please come again."
Ah my frustration with Evil empires continues....
In terms of another Evil Empire and to respond to Remy's comment regarding Manchester United I think I will take this opportunity to point out two things
a) Man U lost 2-0 to Norwich who are LAST in the Premiership and
b) Liverpool recently beat Juventus who are top of the Italian league and have conceded only two goals in the Champions League that was until they met Liverpool who beat them 2-1 including a goal from Luis Garcia that was one of the best football goals you will ever see.
Good bye from ah disgruntled employee of an Evil Empire (does this make me an evil minion?).

2005-02-12T12:48:00.000+13:00

Victor, My World Vision Child. Look at that smile

Mixture of random thoughts

2005-02-12T12:02:00.000+13:00

Hey Everybody, about time I blogged again. Hmmm what has happened...
Oh Parachute...Everyone else that went has already blogged about the chute so I wont I will just say I like musicians called Shawn (or Sean) of the Macdonald and Clancy variety. On the way back from the Chute I went to Auckland to stay with the "Auckland Thornes" a more sane branch of the Thorne family (less pesticide on this side of the family tree :0). They had friends from the UK visiting so we went to Waiheke Island...Which is like an art gallery on the middle of an Island in the Hauraki Gulf. It is not actually an Art Gallery, but it has lots of crafts shops, art galleries, vineyards and restaurants. Kind of like Auckland's Akaroa.
I also signed up to sponsor a World Vision Child, (Not on Waihke Island at the Chute) his name is Victor, he is from Honduras, he is 5 and his birthday is he day after mine on a 18 year delay. I will post a picture of him when I get my scanner to work.
Anywho, I got back and started my new job at BP, which is not very exciting but they are giving me plenty of hours and they pay is bordering on being legal.
I had my interview for the ESOL course I am planning to do, at my mum's school :), mum didn't do the interview though. I had to do an English test, it had grammar questions, correcting a piece of writing and spelling. I am a really bad speller, there was this list of words and half of them were spelt wrong I looked at them and felt like saying "you left out the ones that are spelt wrong !?" They all looked fine to me on second (and tenth inspection) sure enough some of them were spelt wrong, fancy that. Anywho to cut a long story short I got accepted, the course is in April for two weeks intensive then every Saturday till July.
He he, James and I went to see Andre get back from Mongolia the other day. We decided we would help him get accustomed to our "summer" because he is been in a Mongolian winter, so we dressed up in summer clothes when it was real cold out side and went to the airport. Waited around for ages eventually Andre came through customs all dressed in Mongolian garb, a funny circus monkey hat, a long thick lined Del (kind of a kimono on steroids) and Yak fur shoes that looked like plaster casts and a beard. Apparently, he had problems get through customs, they thought he looked suspicious :) wonder why Andre? Jokes aside welcome back Andre.
I managed to not by any CDs at the Chute, I am trying to cut down on my purchases of music CDs they are one of my two impulse buys, CDs and books. I went and bought two the other day...In the Name of Love, Christian Bands do U2 Covers, which are mostly really good, I like Audio A's version of "Gloria", Pillar's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and Delirouis' "Pride" and Todd Agnew's "When Love Comes To Town". Some are not that great like Jars of Clay's version of "All I Want is You". Some are wired like a Hip hop version of "With or Without you" by the Grits which is kind of growing on me. The other CD was Simply Nothing by Shawn Macdonald which is really good.
I think I have ran out of things to blog.

Eh Steve the Sorcerer

2005-01-21T23:28:00.000+13:00

Hey everyone,
This is a post to update people with what is going on in my life. I am having a 1/4 life crisis like a mid life crisis except earlier...see John Mayer song. I have decided that i am not that keen on teaching in NZ. The reasons for this being (should i feel like i need to justify my choice?)....
Current expectations and pressure put on teachers is way too much. Me being who i am if i did teaching i would commit myself to it fully (and all the trimmings expected of teachers). Therefore not having time for the things in life i actually value friends, family, Church and God.
So that leaves me as a twixter someone who is betwixt and between (i did not make up the word it was in Time magazine). I have resigned from my position as a merchandiser or operations manager for the relocation of mobile display units (As Matt P put it) at Farmers and have got a job as a Fuel Distribution Engineer at BP (ie more pumping gass - my shirt is green now and not red) still another evil empire. I plan on doing a ESOL course half way through this year, and i am going to go to the carrers adviser at Uni and try to find what i am going to do...maybe i should be a lion tamer...i have a hat....or an accountant....
OHH i could be a lumber-jack - Not that kind of lumber jack though. Or i could be a mountaineer or a pet-shop owner or teach people self defence with fruit, or an English Knight, i could be a Knight who says "Ne" *trails of into Monthy Python induced rambling* .
Sorry about that i got a bit carried away, anyway i need some P (of the prayer variety)
I have decided i am going to take over from Simon the Sorcerer i could be "Eh Steve the Sorcerer" it has a nice ring to it.

FROTH

2005-01-21T22:57:00.000+13:00

This is a poem written by mum's friend a few weeks before he died and i thought it was pretty cool

FROTH
I stood in the queue at Terminal Two, clutching so hard to my pack.
Collection of things, success on earth brings, was proud of my plan of attack.
I hope to drop all on the mercy of scales and plead for them to let through,
My trappings of life and proof of success, would impress those who gaze at my view.

Yet I had to wait alone at the gate, for attention i thought i was due.
At last he stood there to process my fare, missunderstanding my stew.
Official unfazed, one question he raised, as i contiued to wheedle;
Will it fit through the eye of God's needle?
Or is it a camel parade?

There were medals i'd earned for being humble, the letter i'd got from the queen,
The plates from my new Lamborghini, a record of stocks i have sold,
A large portrait framed of my day in the sun with friend from Capitol Hill,
Certificate proof of mansion in Greece and treasure chest lined with gold.

So vainly i tried to slip and slide, those items attached to my dream.
All that would fit were my ticket and me, plus the treause, i'd sent on before.
Everything else was rejected as froth, tagged hay, wood and stubble or straw.
I gazed in dismay at rejected array, shed tears as they swept the floor.

A lesson i learned from suoveniers spurrened is we travel light on that flight.
Invest enough time in things that will rhyme with skill in demand on that shore.
What are the things so important in life? Which the seeds that transplant?
Point out the stones that are precious to God and hurdles i need to surmount.

What would i take in the lifeboat, if Titanic slipped down from my grasp?
What would i say to my children, if just three words could i grasp?
What would i save from the furnace, if my house succumbed to the flames?
And what could i bring my Saviuor, sufficent to lay at His feet?

In view of eternity why should i fret? Why should i worry and care?
Whether the carpet is purple or green and whether the cushions do match.
How many times was my profile displayed and did everyone know my fame.
Why should i froth if my rainbow was sold? I can't take my oil wells to heaven.

So much of time is invested in things, or glitter that fades right away,
Chasing the fashion demanded by Vogue, or watching the soaps on the screen.
Observe how excitement of drunken delight hangs over the stench of next day.
While time spent in prayer or seeking the losts invests in a world unseen.

If God restricted my life to one day, what would i do with that time?
Could i sign off on a life deemed well done, respected, fulfilled and transferred?
Could i look back on a life lived for God, and selfless devotion to souls?
Or would i just panic in hopeless regret, and rue wasted years spent in vain?

A passport secured by His death on the Cross is the item most vital i own,
A focus on Christ and what He requires will lift me past death to His throne.
Meanwhile i shall act in the standard laid down, love in a most tender way.
And walk past the froth to a humble repose, as i pack added value each day.

Written by Allan Diprose, on 13th June 2004

Thorne Dynasty

2004-12-22T13:21:00.000+13:00

Funny, my sister just got back from 3 months in Egypt and she rode a camel!! The Net-Guide magazine was having a competition to send in photos of you reading the Net-Guide in random places. So my sister took a photo of her sitting on a camel reading the Net-Guide. What is even cooler - the church she was going to in Egypt had a Christmas Pageant- WITH REAL CAMELS!!!! Whakedy Whack not just regular Whack. So now she is home and all the Thornes are together again- for a while. Lanie (the one that just gor back from Egypt) is getting married in April so we are not together long before Lanie moves out. Man my family is so cool.
Brief Profile of My Family:

Dad
Real Name: Wayne Thorne
Job: Something at Telecom (i do not know for sure what)
Age: 50ish :P
From: Mastertron
Traits: Dad is real cool, he is good at fixing things and is always prepared to do stuff for others.

Mum
Real Name: Kathryn Mary Thorne
Job: Director of English Language School
Age:50ish
From: Levin - But grew up in Papua New Guinea - Mum is a red-headed Melanasian :P
Traits: Good hugs, good at talking to when you are depressed. Really thoughtful and caring

Soo-Moo
Real Name: Sarah Marie Thorne
Job: Speech Language Thearpist
Age: 25
From: Christchurch
Traits: Real good at crafts- makes money selling stuff on Trademe. Has spent the last year at home studying at Bible College. Prior to this year was in Auckland.

Steve-a-Saurus AKA Eh Steve
Real Name: Stephen Wayne Thorne
Age: 23(ish)
From: Christchurch
Traits: Me an Arts student who does not know what he is going to be doning with his life. Who likes: God and hanging out with friends and playing board games and computer games.

Jimmy Thunder
Real Name: James Andrew Thorne
Age: 21
From: Chch
Traits: Engineer, Civil - working for the Christchurch City Council playing in drains. Just like the Ninja Turtles. Real cool brother, loves God and is going to be El Presidenta next year

Lanie
Real Name: Helena Elizabeth Thorne
Age:19
From: Christchurch
Traits: Outgoing, bubbly personality, plays lots of sport and is always "full on". Lanie lives life in the fast lane. Just got back from Egypt. Creative- makes her own clothes some times and has done lots of fashion shows.

So my family is real cool. The Thorne Dynasty is here to stay be afraid be very afriad. The revolution will not be televised. My whole family are all strong Christians who love God and each other it is the biggest blessing in my life. Oh and my extended family are awesome to.

2004-12-18T16:44:00.001+13:00

Me sideways

2004-12-18T16:44:00.000+13:00

2004-12-18T16:42:00.000+13:00

Photos of Grad

2004-12-18T16:32:00.000+13:00

Hey all,
I graduated on Wednesday and got a $20k piece of paper here are some photos of me holding said piece of paper...Grats to Woody, Estie and Helen who graduated as well

Book reviews

2004-12-02T11:56:00.000+13:00

I love books and I though I might share some of the books I have enjoyed recently:

Edward Rutherford (Sarum, Russka, London, The Dublin Foundation)
Really enjoyed these books they are historical fiction, which means he takes real events and portrays them through the eyes of fictious characters. Rutherford has a way of bringing history alive and making it real and exciting, reading Russka a few years ago is pretty much what got me in to History.

Robert Ludlum (Bourne Identity, Scorpio Illusion)
Bourne Identity the book is 100 times better than the movie. Ludlum keeps you on the edge of your seat and it has more twists than a 60’s roller-disco. I cannot rave enough about Ludlum great suspense/thriller writer.

Lance Armstrong (It is not about the Bike, Every second counts)
Two part biography of Lance Armstrong, these books are really inspirational and challenging, the guy has an amazing story and he tells it really honestly. If you do not know him he is 5 time (I think) Tour de France winner and cancer survivor phenomenal athlete, amazing man and a inspirational story.

Brother Yun (Heavenly Man)
Disclaimer: DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE CHALLENEGED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD!!!!
This book is amazing, Brother Yun is a leader in the Chinese House Church Movement he has been tortured and imprisoned several times and his faith is amazing. Brother Yun actually lives the scriptures he dwells on them and mediates on them, You have to read this book.

Charles Colsen (Kingdoms in Conflict)
I have not finished this book yet but so far it has been really good. It is about Church and Politics and the Churches role in the State, really relevant at the moment (Civil Unions Bill etc.) He shares lots of good stories from Ernest Hemmingway to William Wilberforce, from Bonhoffer to Nietzsche. It is a really good summary of what has happened to the Western Church in the twentieth Century and how it got to where it is. Fascinating read.

Anyway there are many other books I have enjoyed recently but these are the ones I have read and would recommend to anyone. If you have read any of these books and want to comment or have any other books you recomend please add to the list, i am always looking for new books to read.

P'Chute

2004-12-02T11:48:00.000+13:00

Hey All,
Just interested in knowing who is going to Parachute '05 (28-31 Jan)? How people are getting there? Who has tents and who needs tents? etc. So use this post to organise what is going on. I know that i am keen and Ruth and Brehaught but i am not sure who else is keen on going. I plan on flying up on the 27 and back on the 1 (day either side at time of posting air-tickets to Hamiltron where $250ish) Driving is a big effort to organise but can be quite fun. I also have a few tents if they are needed.

Breaking News

2004-11-26T11:11:00.000+13:00

The ESBC (Eh Steve Broadcasting Corporation) would like to interrupt this broadcast with a breaking news update….*Shot of Steve in suit and tie in front of goofy picture of Steve in background, Newscaster reads: *In Steve News…I have moved out of the glorious, wonderful, superlative Dubya flat and back to my parents home in the ‘burbs. Yeah Sky TV and Jetstream, boo to no cool flat-mates. So thanks to all at the Dubya flat (Andrew being the only one who might read this) it has been a fun filled year of gammy taps, never enough bread and milk, lots of The Simpsons, a little bit of X-Box and a whole lot of fun, and so ends the legacy of the Dubya flat and we pass it on to the capable hands of Andrew, Woody, The Eel, J-Rod and Rueben (what is he dippidy doing?) and Brehaught and Jimmy over summer. I think this combination of flat-mates is very dangerous I think they will be hot bed of heresy and board-games.
However moving back home is good because I get to spend time with my sister Sarah, who has spent this year down from Auckland where she was working as a SPLTH chick. However I have not been at home to enjoy the presence of my sister so I am looking forward to hanging out with Sarah. I have just finished the book I was reading The Scorpio Illusion by Robert Ludlum. I made the mistake of telling Mum that I needed a new book to read, so she dusted the cobwebs off her book collection and donated me a library of helpful books, so I am going to find a bean bag a BIG pot of coffee and see you in August next year…mmmmm…hibernation. I am reading a book about Christians and politics by Charles Colsen
I also went shopping for glasses and spent $400 on a pair of glasses when the Tron could have sold me a pair from the Warehouse for $2.50.
I have not yet made any plans for next year but I have still got time… after all the world is my pickled onion (I don’t like seafood- apart from Sushi- so no oysters for me- and pickled onions have the same effect of nasty breath).
Back to you at the studio, Eh Steve, ESBC *said while looking shiftily at the camera*

Update on the life of Steve (talking about him self in the third person again)

2004-11-10T13:14:00.000+13:00

Update on the life of Steve (talking about him self in the third person again). I have work over summer – WOOT, I am merchandising at Farmers Riccarton which is cool. It is lots of lifting and moving and standing round while the managers decide where they want this stuff. Then when the managers make up their minds moving it back to where it started. Fun – but it is work. Update for next year I have several options there are two jobs in New Zealand that came up that look interesting one at Makoura College in Masterton (where I was on section J) and one at Riccarton High School so I am going to apply for both of these jobs. I have also thought about doing a course in ESOL teaching at my Mum’s school (Alpha Educational Institute) in January and then maybe teaching ESOL overseas maybe in Eastern Europe or Spain both of which would be cool. If I teach I Spain I can learn Spanish that means that I can teach ESOL in South America which would be very cool. Eastern Europe would be cool too- they have some beautiful cities like Prague and Budapest and they are close to Germany (read World Cup 2006J). So I am excited about my options for next year.

Social Event

2004-11-02T16:59:00.000+13:00

Tap Tap is this thing on? *clears his throat* I have an announcement...We the boys of 26a Suva St (aka the Dubya Flat Aka - Tim W, Andrew W, James W, Steve W. Thorne and Willy Andrews) are inviting YOU the assorted random people of the world to a flat warming, and yes we do realise the irony of the fact that we have been in the flat for almost a year, but it is still cold so we need to warm it. Anyway we invite you to warm our flat with your glowing presence come on Saturday 6th November from 5:00 onwards and bring some kai for eating.

Thank God I am not an American!!!

2004-10-30T16:14:00.000+13:00

Why? It is not because then I would have to watch football and not because if I was American I would lack that abilities (Englishness) to understand the superb game of Cricket. I thank God I am not American because if I was I would be faced with the choice of George W. Bush or John Kerry or not voting at all. I have a confession to make I have been interested in the American Presidential Campaign, there I said are you happy now J. The reason for this is because I think the decision is an important one, America has such a place in the world that their choice of leader is a very significant choice.
A bit about my politics….contrary to popular belief I AM NOT A COMMUNIST.
I own no Che Guevere T-shirt (or sweat band) no Rage Against the Machine CD’s and no posters of Lenin !!! Now that I have that out of the way, my politics are very confusing and I do not expect you to keep up….Here goes….
I believe in social justice, this would place me on the left, I think it is the government’s role to provide education and health care and a LIMITED welfare benefit. I also believe in social responsibility, which would put me on the right. By this I mean that people should not rely on the government for hand-outs with out trying to help themselves. So economically you could say I am centre left…however I do not agree with the lefts moral politics. I am anti-abortion (right) and anti-gay marriage (right) anti-death penalty (left) so this is where I get confused. I can not consciously vote either side based on politics, I have to base it on people. If I was American I would have to vote for who would be a better president rather than which parties politics I liked. Now George W. Bush has a very checkered record, he started a war that I can not agree with for reasons that are immoral and illegal. He blew the American budget worse than he blew up Baghdad!! – American unemployment is at a low not seen since the depression. So I would struggle to vote for George W. Bush. However he has made some good moral stands – his party repelled two amendments to the constitution – one to legalize abortion the other to legalize gay-marriages. If the constitution is amended that means every state has to change their state laws to match up with the constitution. John Kerry voted for both of these amendments (I think), as a Catholic he has been told that he would be denied the Eucharist in some churches based on his “anti-Catholic” stand on abortion . For a Catholic this is a big deal, us Protestants do not understand how important the Eucharist is to Catholics. Anyway all of this means that I would struggle to vote for anyone, but I could not not vote because I think it is too important a decision to abstain from. So I find my self in a pickle, I could not vote for either candidate and I can not afford not to vote, So thank God I am not an American!!!

You got Blogs!!

2004-10-27T09:10:00.000+13:00

I got introduced to this recently, it is a "RSS" thingi - Really Simple Synchronising? Anyway it allows you to list all the blogs u "subscribe" and tells you if there are any new posts. Saves having to check them all. Kind of like an email thing - "you got mail" for blogs.
http://bloglines.com

Monday

2004-10-26T13:54:00.000+13:00

Those that came on Monday to watch Football and any one else that is interested this is the schedule for Canterbury United home games for the rest of the summer.

Canterbury v Manawatu 23-Oct,
Canterbury v Napier 25-Oct,
Canterbury v Waitakere 7-Nov,
Canterbury v Otago 21-Nov,
Canterbury v Auckland 5-Dec,
Canterbury v Napier 12-Dec,
Canterbury v Manawatu 4-Jan,
Canterbury v Otago 9-Jan,
Canterbury v Waikato 31-Jan,
Canterbury v Auckland 29-Jan* this game is in Nelson but is still a "home game" :)
Canterbury v Waitakere 6-Feb,
Canterbury v Wellington 27-Feb.

Ps thanks to those that came i had a good time and some of the photos came out okay :P
So anyone that wants to come to any of the other games i am keen to go along, looking forward to a summer of football :) It seems they place each (of 8) teams three times so there are 21 rounds of games.

Football

2004-10-21T16:22:00.000+13:00

Hello Everybody,

I am planning an expedition on Monday, being a holiday I thought I would spend it doing "work". I need to take some photos for one of my "assignments", I need some action shots so I thought I would spend the day watching the beautiful game.....FOOTBALL...(basketball is more beautiful but it is not the right time of year). Anyway, being a social animal I do not want to go alone so anybody who is keen to spend an afternoon of Sun, Football and Steve :) your more than welcome to join me. The game is part of the New Zealand Football Competition an attempt at bringing the game to the masses, it is between Canterbury United and Napier City Soccer, the game is at 4pm but any one who is keen can get hold of me and we will meet at my flat at like 3:30pm on Monday and head out form there.

Doorway

2004-10-19T11:32:00.000+13:00

Many of you know I had a job interview on Friday. The job was a teaching position at Bethlehem College in Tauranga. They flew me up for the interview; I thought it went really well, they seemed to like me.
The school is amazing, well resourced and committed to developing Christian character and a holistic education. These are things that I would love to be involved in. I got a call from the Principal yesterday saying I did not get the job. :(
But he did say that they really liked me and wanted me on their staff :) . There is a chance that another similar position opens up for next year, if so they said they would love to have me aboard. So I am very much in no-mans land with this at the moment- the door has not quite closed but I am not sure if it is open or not. I have prayed a lot about this and told God that I would love this job but if this is him shutting the door then that is cool, I trust his will. It is pretty hard to do when you really want to go through the door :) God may be testing me. Thanks to all of those that were praying I really felt supported in prayer, if you could keep praying that would be cool :).
Anyway good bye from a very confused and stuck-in-a-doorway Steve.

Football

2004-10-17T13:46:00.000+13:00

Hey I just thought I would spread the Hattrick word. For all you Football lovers out there this is for you. Hattrick is this cool online soccer management game, played by literally thousands of people online it is very cool. I got into it last year after Johnny Watson told me about it (some of you might remember Johnny). Anyway you get given a team of fictitious players in a fictitious league and you buy and sell them. You choose your squad and manage your team, choosing tactics and all the rest. It is lots of fun and you only need to do it like for a hour a week or so. Anyway I have been into Football management games for a while and I really enjoy it – my team is pretty good Go Steve FC. They are coming about 3rd in my league fairly consistently and improving over the four seasons I have managed them.
Anyway enough cross-promotion – hey Liverpool beat Fulham 4-2 this weekend after being down at half time 2-0 :)
Man I feel so geeky managing my imaginary Football team :P. So all you geeky football fans out there check it out it is free. http://www.hattrick.org/Common/default.asp

Lawyer Quotes

2004-10-08T17:22:00.000+13:00

I got this as an email ages ago but it is real funny
These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth
Q: What year?
A: Every year

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August eighth?
A: Yes
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?>>>> >A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Che Guevere, Manchester Utd. and Fresh up

2004-10-06T13:24:00.000+13:00

Disclaimer: I (Stephen Thorne) the writer of this post am not currently, nor have I ever been, nor will I be associated or affiliated with any communist party. I am a sociologist NOT a socialist, they difference is more than linguistic. Nor am I a Manchester United Fan.

This post is about Che Guevere (sort of) the world's most well marketed socialist. You know the guy that appears on all the t-shirts. I think it is random that he is so well marketed for a socialist. My cousin just went to Malaysia and came back with a Che Guevere wrist band. From Malaysia I can almost guarantee you that the sweat band was made in a factory where the working conditions where not up to Che's standards. The t-shirts and other Che gear are so prevalent that you wonder if people even know who the guy was. For those that don't he was a military leader under Fidel Castro in Cuba. Both Fidel and Che became the "poster boys" for popular led revolution. Che was influential in training guerrillas through out South America. People (on the whole) buy the t-shirt not because they believe it is cool or trendy, not because they agree with the socialist point of view.
If I can draw a parallel with sport- Che is like Manchester United (or the Lakers or Yankees) people support Manchester not because they actually like the team and are "fans" maybe a better word is "followers" (or sheep). They think that it is cool or trendy to support a football team, so naturally they go for a team that is winning and therefore cool and trendy. WRONG, it is no fun supporting a team that always wins because you become use to winning, for example Canturbury rugby when we win the Ranfurly Shield it is not a major deal I mean the shield is ours isn't it? However when BOP win it they go off the hook. Personally I think it is much more satisfying as a sports fan to support a team that doesn't always win. Case in point: Liverpool Football Club, if find it enjoyable to support them because if they do win anything it is a great achievement they are the underdone so to speak.
It is like the fresh up adds if you run around in pink batts or eat chilies then the Fresh Up is better. Supporting Liverpool is much like running round in pink batts - very tiring and often itchy- and when they do win it feels good. You do not get this experience from supporting Manchester. The New Zealand Cricket team through out the 1990s are another good example- when they play well as they are know it is awesome because we know how bad they were - we were watching them in our living rooms wrapped in pink batts.
Which is why the teams I support are not normally the traditional band wagon teams- Liverpool - all though Liverpool is becoming a band wagon team.
Che is also like scooters - they were alternative to start with and you expected to see "alternative" people on scooters - helping the environment and saving money. But then the was Christmas that the Wharehouse sold them for dirt cheap. I remember speeding the New Years at Akaroa and every kind had a scooter - suddenly the guy with the dreads and hemp shirt was not cool any more. This is like Che (and sadly starting to become true of Liverpool) people are jumping on band wagons and pushing guys like me and the hemp shirt guy off our hypothetical scooters.

Random Thoughts

2004-09-27T22:03:00.000+12:00

Hey Everybody, Some of you might have noticed that after my second section in Whakatane I was quite downcast and did not really want to be teaching. I talked to a few people about it and I was quite depressed. The reason for this was I had a couple of bad days in Whakatane and being isolated from everybody (church, CU and family) I found it hard to deal with. I let it get out of perspective - I mean everybody has bad days- I started to think that teaching was going to be too hard for me. I even started looking at alternatives and lost my interest in the section. As a result of this my teaching suffered and I got a fairly bad report which just got me down more. However God helped me out, I got back to Christchurch and I started to talk to people and pray. God blessed me by giving me a good section in Waimate. He also broke my CD player so I had nothing to do on my roadtrip but pray- Thanks God -. Thanks to everybody for supporting me during this time, God has shown me that teaching is something that I can do - only with his help though. It is still a really hard job - so much paper work and responsibility beyond the call of duty, but God is good and reminds me of Phil 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength". So to sum up this blog, thanks to everybody that supported me (knowingly or unknowingly) and God bless.

Oh a couple of cool versus,

Psalm 16:11 "You have made know to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." Psalm 16 is my favorite Psalm (at the moment).

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 " May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strength you in every good deed and word." <---This vs rocks it is sooo cooool

Everybody to the limit

2004-09-21T07:36:00.000+12:00

Hey all,
I got a bumper sticker from Homestarrunner, my friend ordered a pack, so next time you see the Honda it will have a bumper sticker reading "everybody to the limit" and you better go to the limit. Anywho i am back in Chch and i surrvived the Waimate water without any major adverse side effects. I think i already was insane so that helps. So i have a holiday of 2 weeks and then i go back to college and create the illusion of serrouis work while not really doing anything much.

Laters from Steve-O

Hey Everbody

2004-08-31T09:57:00.000+12:00

I see everbody is getting into the Blog thing, so being a band wagon kinda guy i jumped on. I am enjoying my time in Waimate High School doing the student teacher thing. I have year 8, 9 and 10 social studies classes (Form 2,3 and 4 )and Year 11 and 12 History.
My year 12 History has only two students and they are both exhange studetns. I am really enjoying it all thoug it is REALLY COLD and isolated. I am also applying for jobs all around NZ so need pray on this one.
Oh and a big thank you to my fan club (Estie, Ruth, Nathan and Michelle) who came to hear my preaching debut and came back to my families place and made embarrasing suggestions in front of my grandma (Michelle). I really appreciated you guys coming and supporting me you rock. Woody says Hi as well.

laters from Steve-a-sauras